Bad Choices
by Saiororen
Summary: Greg Heffley starts making a lot of bad choices in order to fulfill his dream of being cool and fitting in, after seeing a lot of bad role models at his school who he perceives as cool. M for drugs, violence, etc.
1. Chapter 1

Greg had only one goal in life. He just wanted to be cool. He wanted to look cool in the eyes of everyone. Basically he wanted to metaphorically suck the dick of everyone he met, which isn't too surprising because we all know he's a faggot metaphorically.

Anyways, one day Greg was driving to school with his mom, and was listening to music through his headphones. Currently he was listening to 'With That' by Young Thug, and he was feeling real cool. However, at that moment Yelken Brandley drove by in his brand new beamer.

Yelken was in eighth grade but he drove a car, cause him and his parents did not give a fuck about the laws, or at least that's what Greg thought, because he didn't know for sure.

Greg certainly wished that he was even half as cool as Yelken. Yelken was holding a juul vape in one hand and took a hit as he drove by blowing out a large smoky white cloud. Yelken was blasting 'Where's the Blow' by Ski Mask the Slump God as he drove by, and the line, "she suck on my dick like a sippie" blasted out as he drove by.

Greg cringed as he heard this, because even though he had heard much worse lyrics through his headphones and in private and liked to laugh to them. He always cringed when he heard these lyrics with other people, probably because he was a pussy, but also because he felt like other people should react when the heard swear words because to his stupid sheltered life a swear word was probably the craziest thing.

Greg's mom didn't react because she wasn't a bitch like Greg. Greg's mom dropped off Greg, and even though Greg liked to act cool, he was too socially awkward to say bye to his mom instead opting to just walk away. As Greg walked into school, he noticed Yelken parking in one of the staff parking spots, and texting somebody on his phone. "Damn", thought Greg, "I wish I could be as cool as Yelken."

Greg walked into school and even though he was a faggot and incredibly socially awkward, nobody bullied him, due to the quite intense anti-bullying measures the school had been undergoing recently.

"Is today the day?", Greg wondered, "Is today the day I stop being a faggot and become cool? Is today the day I stop hanging out with losers like Rowley and move up the social totem pole?"

But alas, it was not to be.

Rowley approached Greg and immediately said, "Hey Gregory, how has it been going?"

Since Greg was so socially awkward he merely looked down at the floor, and stammered out, "it.. it's going good..." really quietly.

"Sorry Greg, I could not catch what you just said? Mind repeating yourself?" said Rowley.

"I SAID IT'S GOING GOOD!" Greg screamed and then he burst into tears, he was going to swear and punch Rowley but he was too socially awkward to do so.

Greg ran into the bathroom, and when he got in he saw Randuile Hyglstag rolling up a backwood and lighting it. One of the iMacs from the school's library had been stolen, and was currently plugged in to a power outlet on the bathroom sink and was blasting out 'Lifestyle' by Rich Gang.

Greg immediately was scared, because even though he wished he could be as cool as Randuile, he was too pussy, wimpy, and socially awkward to ever do these things, so whenever he saw stuff like this he was always scared.

Randuile suddenly turned around and stared at Greg, while blowing out a cloud of smoke.

"Whatchu lookin at lil nigga" said Randuile even though he was white.

At that moment Greg was so scared he almost pissed his pants. He realized that Randuile was 6'8 and probably a little upward of 250 pounds mostly muscle.

"n.. n.. othing..." Greg stammered out meekly.

"That's right pussy!" Randuile growled, before taking a swig from a bottle and tequila in his backpack. Once again Greg found himself wishing he could be that cool.

Then Randuile shoved Greg, and Greg flew back hitting a urinal, and Randuile proceeded to walk out the bathroom.

Greg quickly got himself together and made his way to his next class, "Pre-Algebra for the Complete Math Beginner".

His school had been renaming some of the classes, although for what reason Greg could not say.

As Greg walked barely catching the bell, he quickly found a seat, and the teacher Mrs. Zoggelvalter glared at him.

"Honestly Gregory, this is the third time this week that you've almost been late to my class. What is the matter with you?" she asked.

The class burst into light snickers at this statement.

"N..nothing... I.. I'm sorry... it won't happen again..." Greg stammered and then he gulped in embarrassment.

"It better not" Mrs. Zoggelvalter said.

Five minutes later, as Mrs. Zoggelvalter was trying to explain the concept of a variable to them, Claroww Talox walked in. As Claroww walked in, he took a swig from the bottle of whiskey he was holding, and Greg found himself once again fantasizing that he could be as cool.

"Claroww..." said Mrs. Zoggelvalter at a near loss for words.

Clarrow backhanded her and said, "Shut your stupid mouth hoe, it ain't your place to talk...".

Mrs. Zoggelvalter stood there stunned for several seconds and then resumed teaching when Clarrow reached his seat. Clarrow put the bottle of whiskey to his mouth and started chugging it, and as soon as he finished he threw the empty bottle at the board shattering it and nearly missing Mrs. Zoggelvalter's head.

"Why the fuck don't you ever shut up bitch?" asked Clarrow mockingly.

Mrs. Zoggelvalter burst into tears and said, "Please, I am trying to teach..."

Clarrow folded his arms and smirked saying, "let's see it then..."

Mrs. Zoggelvalter than resumed teaching while sniffling. In the meanwhile, Clarrow alternated between making animal noises and sexual sounds causing everybody to laugh, but Mrs. Zoggelvalter valiantly continued to teach. Clarrow then began shooting spitballs at the teacher, but even though some got stuck in her hair she still continued teaching. Finally, Clarrow took out his laptop, a Mac airbook, and began blasting porn noises.

Mrs. Zoggelvalter turned around sobbing, "Please... that is not appropriate for a school environment.. and I am trying to teach..."

"Pweeeze, dat innat appo piate foh a scooool environment... I am twying to tweach..." Clarrow said back mockingly.

Suddenly Mrs. Zoggelvalter started screaming and pulling at her hair, "I'VE HAD IT", she screamed, "EVERY DAY FOR THE PAST THREE MONTHS... I'VE HAD TO DEAL WITH YOUR CHILDISH, IMMATURE ANTICS!"

Then she screamed and charged at Clarrow, and Clarrow stood up and kicked her brutally in the stomach. Mrs. Zoggelvalter flew back and hit her desk, and collapsed wheezing.

"Wrong move bitch!" Clarrow said smirking. And at this point it was fairly clear, Clarrow was 6'4 and was 215 pounds of mostly muscle, Mrs. Zoggelvalter on the other hand was 5'1 around 90 pounds and was approaching age 50.

Mrs. Zoggelvalter merely looked up at Clarrow in fear, and stammered out, "wh.. why are you doing this?"

Clarrow chuckled and said, "Cuz you a dumb hoe who don't ever shut her fucking hole!"

Then Clarrow spat on her, and she began shrieking and yelping like an abused dog.

Clarrow turned around and said, "Class dismissed niggas" and walked out, even though he was white.

Greg recounted this story to Rowley, who was so forgiving and pathetic that he completely ignored Greg's earlier behavior.

"Damn I wish I could be as cool as Clarrow..." Greg said at the conclusion of the recounting. "I mean, he's so cool! He always wears the freshest clothes, and hangs out with the coolest people, and always does funny crazy shit! I heard he also got hella bitches..."

"I mean today he was wearing a Bape jacket, a gucci belt, true religion jeans, and all white air jordans. He also got earrings, a nose ring, and sick ass green hair. He also even got a face-tat, how gnarly is that and a whole sleeve of tats on his left arm..." Greg continued.

Meanwhile Rowley had backed away and was looking at Greg with a confused expression. "Yo Greg are you... um... are you like gay or something? No homophobia though..."

Greg stammered, and Rowley continued, "I mean you sure described him pretty well... Did you check him out or something?"

Then Greg had an angry expression, "Goddamit!" he said, "Why can't I be cool?! Even my own faggot friend calls me gay! I don't know what I'm not doing, I mean I listen to the same music all the cool kids do, and I even dress nice..."

Then Greg gulped and yelled, "LOOK AT ME! I am wearring Vans old-skool, nice levi jeans, and a cool RVCA t-shirt!". Then Greg grabbed Rowley by the shoulders and started shaking him.

Apparently Rowley had had enough because he pushed Greg away and slammed him against the lockers by the throat.

"Look mate", Rowley said, "I don't know what's gotten into you, but you need to stop this... What would Joshie say?..."

"FUCK JOSHIE!" screamed Greg.

Rowley instantly became furious and punched Greg in the jaw extremely hard, knocking a couple of Greg's teeth loose and causing his mouth to bleed.

"DON'T YOU EVER SWEAR AND INSULT JOSHIE IN THE SAME SENTENCE!" Rowley bellowed and then stormed off, leaving Greg to cry.

Just then Greg saw Leon Ricket approaching and thought to himself, "Oh no!"


	2. Chapter 2

Leon Ricket approached Greg, and Greg cringed.

"Leon... please.. I don't have any money..." Greg whimpered, then a sudden burst of courage overtook Greg and then he said, "Why can't I be cool like you guys?... I listen to the same music, and have a similar music taste..."

Leon paused and then laughed, "You want to be cool like us...".

Then Leon leaned into Greg's ear and whispered, "Well, I'll let you in on a little secret... Cool Kid's Club, 5:00 PM today at school."

Then Leon turned and walked away. Greg nearly jizzed himself in excitement. "Finally", he thought, "he could finally be one of the cool kids!"

Greg found it hard to focus in the rest of his classes that day, as all the various cool kids he looked up to in those classes merely reminded him of what was in wait for him after school ended.

After school ended, Greg immediately went home and made sure he was well prepared for the Cool Kid's Club.

At 4:40 Greg walked over to school, and waited until about 5:00 but no one was there.

Greg began to think he was the victim of a prank, but at 5:05 seven kids walked into the parking lot.

Amongst them Greg recognized Yelken, Randuile, Leon, and Clarrow. In addition, Greg also saw Rytel Skalnennenjdorf, a half Scandivian half Native American seventh grader who was somehow 7'10, which was almost insane. In addition Rytel, had similar body proportions to Randuile, but Rytel had a genetic mutation that caused his bones and muscles to be much denser, so Rytel weighed about 600 pounds, mostly muscle though, so nobody ever really tried to fuck with him.

Greg recognized one of the other kids, his name was Sirvash Tole, and he was a sixth grader who was 6'1, 190 lbs mostly muscle. However the interesting thing about Sirvash was that he was also a local up and coming rapper who was blowing up on soundcloud and youtube, as well as a fairly successful producer, having produced for Famous Dex and Yung Bans, he was also a fashion designer behind the successful brand, Nomed Life. Currently Sirvash was wearing a plain white t-shirt that was grinded to create holes and rips at the bottom like some of the shirts Kanye sold. In addition, he was wearing some ripped jeans, that looked pretty sick, but Greg couldn't tell the brand, probably custom by Sirvash, Greg thought impressed. In addition he was wearing shoes that looked like Air Force Ones but without the nike swoosh, and seemed to be made out of a flexible, breathable fabric, and some white heather Nomed socks. The rest of Sirvash's outfit was pretty solid. In addition Sirvash had on a custom Nomed belt, which had a golden lock as the buckle, and was made of white leather, with lightly gold dusted spiraling fern designs across it. In addition, Sirvash was wearing some jean buttons that had been polished to be extremely shiny as earrings, Greg thought this was a bit weird but it looked nice on Sirvash. Sirvash also had a golden necklace with a key on it, and Greg realized that this key would unlock the lock buckle on Sirvash's belt. In addition, Sirvash also had hair dyed so that it looked like it was covered in gold, and his hair was arranged in cornrows that ended in a short ponytail at the back of his head. Each of Sirvash's ponytail braids was fastened with diamond beads occuring along every inch of the braid. He also had on platinum-colored eye contacts.

Greg knew a couple of the songs that Sirvash released, one was called Sir Vash, which was released a couple months ago, and Greg was hipster enough to have known about it before Sirvash started blowing up after his song #nomedgang started blowing up a week ago.

Greg flashbacked to when he was watching the video for Sir Vash. The video started off with a female voice seductively saying,"s s s sirvash records...". Then there was a pause and then there was the beat tag, "Savi baby!" which played in a deep male voice with some reverb added. Then the beat dropped and Sirvash started rapping, "To all you redneck faggots callin me Serve ash. Imma serve ash to your parents bitch ass. Don't fuck with my name, bitch don't forget that. I'm a savage lil nigga, got a tech in my backpack..." Greg reminisced about the rest of the song, and then thought about Sirvash's song #nomedgang which was blowing up. The video started with Sirvash taking a hit from a vape and blowing out a cloud. Then the vocals, "Gang gang gang gang gang..." came in in a pitched down volume slowly rising effect. Then Sirvash faced the camera and said, "Nomed gang shit baby. 943 shit. Gang gang gang." Then the beat dropped and Sirvash started dancing and rapping, "Nomed gang! This that 943 shit! Don't fuck with my boys or you can catch this clip! Brah brah braaaaah", Sirvash rapped as gunshots played in the background, "I got hoes who gon fuck, bitch Im in sixth grade. Bitch I ain't got nikes, but Im ballin like Im D wade. Cashed a check I just fucked on ya ex. 20 rounds from my tech, if that boy gon talk that disrespect..." Greg finished reminiscing and returned to the moment.

The other kid was another kid Greg admired, his name was Cooper Greenshell, and he was 6'3, 220 pounds of muscle, he was also in eighth grade but was suspended for the past three weeks due to an incident that had occurred earlier. Cooper had wavy platinum hair and purple eye contacts. He also had shiny diamond earrings, and a silver nosering. Cooper was wearing a Supreme bogo T-shirt which was white with a blue Supreme box logo. He was wearing ripped Fear of God jeans and the pure white Yeezy 350's. Greg recalled the incident that got Cooper in trouble, Cooper had been at school riding a skateboard through the school and suddenly one girl had stopped in front of him and was looking scared.

"MOVE BITCH!" screamed Cooper, but the dumb bitch didn't even attempt to move, just looking like a deer in the headlights.

"FUUUUCK!" screamed Cooper and he attempted to leap over the bitch, with his skateboard, but he did not get high enough. His skateboard hit her in the neck and his legs slammed into her face. The girl was knocked to the floor and the skateboard pressed into her neck, cutting it a bit and making it bleed. Then Cooper did a kickflip and grabbed the girl by the hair and slammed her face into a nearby locker.

"Do you not speak English, you dirty fuck?" Cooper asked laughing. Then he slammed her face into the locker several times and spat on her. He looked up and saw Ganji Cheng, a quarter-punjabi, three-quarters Chinese, student staring at him.

"Why you squinting at me chink?" Cooper asked. Ganji looked nervous and didn't say anything, and Cooper was furious.

"You fucking faggot! All you fucking chinks are all the same, just squinting at me all the time, don't even have the balls to admit it when I fucking catch you fuckers in the act!" Cooper screamed. Then Cooper grabbed Ganji by the throat and slammed him into the locker.

"OPEN YOUR EYES! LOOK AT THE WORLD AROUND YOU! STOP SQUINTING AT EVERYTHING! IF YOU FUCKING CHINKS WEREN'T ALWAYS SO CAUGHT UP IN YOUR WORLD, YOU WOULDN'T BE SO FUCKING SOCIALLY AWKWARD!" Cooper screamed. Ganji started crying, and Cooper became extremely mad.

"I SAID OPEN YOUR EYES CHINK! NOT CLOSE THEM EVEN MORE!" Cooper screamed then he used his fingers to push Ganji's eyelids open.

Cooper started chuckling and then said, "Isn't that better chink, you can actually see the world for once, instead of squinting at it all the time".

Cooper walked away, and then Ganji said, "My name isn't chink, it's Ganji..."

Cooper suddenly grabbed his skateboard and slammed it breaking it over Ganji's head, and Ganji slumped to the floor.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" Cooper screamed, "YOU FUCKING CHINK! GANJI! IS THAT A CHINK MOCKERY OF THE WORD GANDHI OR GANJA?!"

Then Cooper started laughing, "Yeah, I can see it now. Some faggot chink thinking he cool and going up to the plug and bein like, "Ecccuse me I would rike ganji for shmoke...""

Everybody laughed at Cooper's mocking imitation of an Asian accent. Then Cooper stared at Ganji as if seeing him for the first time, and then he saw his broken skateboard. Cooper then calmly said, "You done fucked up chink..."

Cooper punched a hole in a nearby locker and ripped the door off of it, then Cooper slashed it across Ganji's stomach and hurled the door down the hallway. Then Cooper lifted Ganji by the throat and slammed him as hard as he could into a nearby locker, causing the locker door to break, and Ganji had been shoved against the wall, with a broken locker door behind him, which had hit with so much force it was embedded into the wall.

"You broke my skateboard, you fucking nigger" Cooper said even though he was white, "Now I'll break you..."

Then Cooper began running, dragging Ganji's body through an entire row of lockers, destroying the lockers and their contents in the process. When Cooper was done he threw Ganji lightly into the air and then punted him extremely hard, Greg recalled hearing the crack of bones, and then Ganji's body soared up breaking through the plaster of the ceiling, leaving Ganji's body stuck till the torso in the ceiling. Then Cooper ran and broke down the door to a nearby classroom, a teacher who was in the middle of teaching looked up at Cooper. Cooper lifted the teacher by the throat and threw him out the window. Then Cooper roared in rage, and lifted his hands above his head and slammed then onto the teacher's desk, breaking it in half. Then Cooper leapt through the classroom wall and back into the hallway.

At that point the district supervisor walked into the hallway, horrible timing, and then Cooper looked at him and said, "Don't just stare at me lil nigga... If we got beef speak up bitch!"

The supervisor stammered, and then Cooper punched him in the face knocking him out. At this point things were getting way too out of control. Several police officers tried to subdue Cooper, but he defeated all of them with ease. Finally a whole SWAT Team burst in and they were finally able to restrain Cooper. As a result of all the chaos, Cooper had caused he had been suspended for one month, but he had been excused from all of his homework for some reason.

The reason Greg knew all these people and described them so well, was because he was a queer, and probably a closeted homosexual.

Cooper looked at Greg and smirked, "Why the fuck this faggot here?"

Greg stammered awkwardly, and then Leon laughed and said, "Cause I invited him..."

Cooper merely smirked and said nothing else. The rest of the group merely stared at Greg but didn't react.

Finally Rytel pulled out a massive bong, and took a huge hit. He passed it on to Randuile, and said, "Members who have gathered here, we must take a smoke from the Pipe of wisdom, before we continue any further". Randuile continued passing it around the circle, and eventually it got to Greg, but the bong was so heavy Greg could not even lift it.

The other members of the group started laughing, and Greg put the bong on the ground, and tried to take a hit, but as soon as a wisp of smoke entered his mouth, Greg began choking and felt like he was going to die. Rytel had walk over and pick up the bong, and then Cooper said, "Pretty fucking pathetic faggot..."

"Now that we have successfully each smoked the Pipe of Wisdom, we will begin our daily meetings, however we have a newcomer here..." Rtyel said.

Greg merely looked around awkwardly. Leon spat on the floor and then looked at Greg, "For fuck's sakes, just introduce yourself bitch!"

Greg stammered out quietly, "I... I... I... Greg He.. Heffley"

Randuile smirked, and then Cooper said, "I couldn't even hear a word you said. Take the dick out of your mouth before you speak faggot..."

Greg could feel tears coming to his eyes, and he was starting to regret his decision to come here. Then he clenched his fists and said, "I'M GREG HEFFLEY!"

Cooper walked over and suddenly Greg was so scared he almost pissed his pants. "Some advice, lil bitch..." Cooper said,"When someone is at your level of faggotry, don't fucking try to front and act tough...".

Cooper started walking away then he spun around and slapped Greg across the face incredibly hard. Greg went unconscious and his body hit the ground.


	3. Chapter 3

Greg woke up several seconds later on the ground, and then he remembered where he was.

The group of cool kids were looking at him with amusement and Cooper was smirking at him. Then Rytel spoke up and said smirking, "So Greg, do you want to join our organization?"

Greg merely stared in shock, and was at a loss for words. Finally, Leon spoke up and said, "What the fuck is going on retard? How long does it take to answer a fucking yes or no question?"

"Y.. y.. yes" Greg stammered out, and Rytel smirked at him.

"Well, Gregory you still have to undergo initiation before you can formally join the..." then Rytel paused and smirked throwing up air quotes, "Cool Kids Club".

Rytel turned away from Greg and towards the rest of the cool kids, "What are our orders of business for this meeting...?", Rytel asked.

Cooper spoke up and said, "My nigga Toz finna come back to school..."

Yelken smiled and said cheerfully, "Ayyy... I ain't see that nig in a minute", even though he was white as well.

Greg knew exactly who they were talking about, because he was such a cocksucker and busybody, he knew almost everything about everyone's life at his school, probably because he was such a loser that he had no life of his own.

They were referring to Toz Caliban, who had absent from school for the past three months, which was basically since school started. Greg wasn't sure what Toz had been doing, but from what Greg had heard Toz was simpy skipping school. Greg paused and once again fantasized that he could be that cool.

Rytel spoke up and said, "Certainly a joyous occasion..". Then Rytel popped open a bottle of whiskey and took a large swig.

Rytel clapped his hands together and exclaimed, "This calls for a celebration!" Then Rytel opened a 12 pack of Budweiser and passed it around, each cool kid taking a can. Finally the pack of Budweiser cans reached Greg. The box with the cans should have been relatively light, but Greg was so wimpy he did not even attempt to lift it up. Instead he took out a can of Budweiser and left the box there, for the next member to take.

Leon Ricket, who was next in line, spat on the floor. "Where the fuck are your manners Greg?... Up your ass like your dad's dick?" Leon questioned.

Greg's cheeks began turning red in embarrassment and the rest of the cool kids began chuckling. However Greg was too wimpy and stupid to do anything so he just stood there.

"What the fuck bitch!? Has the donkey's dick you're deep-throating entered your brain? Get off your stinky bitch ass and give the box!" Leon roared. Greg was spurred into action and struggled so hard to lift up the box, he thought his arms might fall off. Finally he gave the box to Leon who was able to lift it with one hand cause he wasn't a wimp. Then Leon kicked Greg in the balls, and Greg felt like he was going to die. Greg collapsed to the floor and he could feel vomit rising up his throat.

"Let's get the fuck away from this faggot", Cooper said.

"Indeed...", Rytel replied, and the cool kids began moving away.

Greg began vomiting and he could hear the cool kids laughing, then Greg passed out.

When Greg woke up it was dark outside, and Greg was unsure how much time had passed. Greg suddenly realized he had been given an atomic wedgie, and his underwear had been pulled all the way over his head. Greg's body was being forced to curl up into a ball from the pressure and Greg was in so much pain he started screaming but all that came out was hoarse yelp. Greg began sobbing, and was too wimpy and stupid to think of any way out of the situation. Luckily, Greg's underwear was under so much tension that it snapped, causing Greg's ass to lightly bleed. Greg merely continued sobbing, and after a couple minutes he was able to stand up. It was at this point that Greg realized he still had the can of Budweiser in his hand.

Greg fumbled a bit and was able to pop open the Budweiser can. Greg took a sip and then Greg started shaking and fell to the floor, causing him to spill the Budweiser all over himself. Greg then began choking on the little sip he had taken and felt like he was going to die.

Finally, Greg's throat cleared up and he began vomiting out blood. Greg felt tears rolling down his face, and laid on the floor for several minutes. Eventually Greg got to his feet and made his way home.

Thankfully, he was able to sneak in and take a shower without his parents noticing. After he was done taking a shower he put on a pair of Clifford pajamas and walked out of the bathroom.

His mom noticed him and asked, "Gregory where were you? You left at 4:40 and now it's 6:30?"

Greg stammered and said, "W.. well I ... I was with some friends..."

"That's good to hear honey..." his mom said, "Dinner is on the table..."

"Th.. thanks.. mom..." Greg replied awkwardly and began eating the lasagna his family was having for dinner.

After he was done eating he went up to his room and finished his pre-algebra homework and then watched some random No Jumper interviews and Young Thug music videos, and then went to bed.

The next day, Greg woke up brushed his teeth, had breakfast and then took a shower. "Oh shoot..." Greg thought, " I need to wear some cool clothes today, so that everyone will be impressed..."

Greg found a DC T-Shirt as well as some Pacsun denim jeans.

"Man I look fresh as hell..." Greg thought, "But Greg was only able to find some tighty-whitey's to wear as underwear, and hoped that nobody would be able to notice them..."

Greg had to walk to school today, because his mom had a meeting for her work. On the way to school, Greg saw Rowley approaching and thought to himself, "Fuck!"

Greg quickly put in his headphones, and clicked shuffle on his phone. Unfortunately the song Controlla started playing, and Greg thought once again, "Oh shit!". Because he thought that the song Controlla was a thot song, and pussy to listen too, however Greg was too stupid to realize that it was someone's actions rather than the music they listened too that made them pussy.

"Hey Gregory," said Rowley, "I must say I do apologize for my deplorable conduct yesterday, it was truly remiss for me to lose my temper like that... However, you must realize that Joshie is an absolutely essential part of my life... my very being... For you to insult him, you must realize how deeply personal that would be for me... I also must humbly apologize for my actions as well..."

Greg was getting incredibly nervous, and was feeling very awkward because although he wished he could be extremely cool, he did not know how to act and became extremely nervous in even basic social situations like this. Greg was pondering what to do, when Rowley suddenly interrupted his thoughts and said, "Gregory, I'm sure whatever music you're listening to must mean a lot to you... However, you must realize how incredibly rude it is to listen to music while someone is speaking to you... Would you kindly remove your earpieces so that we may speak?"

Suddenly Greg decided to respond with one of the very few emotions he knew how to use, anger. Greg spun around, screaming, spittle flying from his mouth, "You fucking faggot! Don't..."

Then Greg began choking up and could not even speak. Greg finally decided to kick Rowley in the stomach but was too weak to make it a proper kick, and only hit Rowley lightly in the stomach. Greg suddenly started sweating, then he froze in place, and started running away but tripped over a crack on the sidewalk and hit the pavement hard.

Greg heard Rowley running after him, and started crying.

"Listen Gregory... I really do apologize for what I said yesterday... So I know you might be angry, but realize that I had every right to be angry too... Friends?" asked Rowley.

Greg turned over onto his back, and saw Rowley extending his hand out towards Greg in a gesture of friendship. Greg tried slapping Rowley's hand away, but he was so weak that it came across as high-five, and then Rowley clasped his hand with Greg's and lifted Greg onto his feet.

Greg's nose was bleeding and he started crying, "Why do I suck at everything I do?" Greg thought.

"I am very proud of you Gregory...", said Rowley, "It takes a very strong individual to forgive and move on..."

Greg merely continued sobbing and said nothing. And that was how they walked into school, with Rowley comforting Greg, and Greg sobbing into Rowley's shoulder, causing Greg's already pathetic standing on the social ladder to slide even lower.


	4. Chapter 4

Greg and Rowley walked into the school together, causing the people in the hallway to snicker, and Greg who was already too sad, frustrated, and depressed to care, simply ignored the fact that his social standing was sliding lower, like a turd down a totem pole. Even if Greg realized this fact he was simply to frustrated to care, so he continued sobbing into Rowley's shoulder like the bitch he was.

Rowley on the other hand looked up at everyone angrily and said, "HEY! Don't look at or judge me or my companion! It's my choice, who I decide to keep as my partner, so mind your manners and your business!"

Rowley was so socially incompetent and awkward that the phrasing of the statement he had just uttered implied a relationship that he had not intended to imply, but Rowley was simply too dense to understand what he had just caused.

"Come on Gregory, let's get you to the infirmary..." Rowley said wrapping his arm around Gregory, causing a renewed round of snickering.

Rowley and Greg walked to the nurse's office and entered. "How can I help you?", Nurse Glenda, who was such a cheerful person that she didn't snap like everyone else at the fools presented before, said.

"My good friend Gregory, has had a broken nose, which he accidentally created while falling upon the pavement... I believe he requires urgent medical care." Rowley said in his weird manner of speaking.

Nurse Glenda motioned for Greg to come forward and began fixing Greg's nose. Then Rowley spoke up, "Gregory, I must bid you farewell, as the hour of class instruction begins shortly, but please I trust Nurse Glenda will take care of your tardiness..."

"Not a problem dear.." Nurse Glenda said, waving Rowley away while struggling to maintain a smile.

Several minutes later, Greg's nose was fixed up and he was given a note to take to class excusing his tardiness.

Greg stumbled out of the nurse's room and was confused about which classroom he had to go to, and after a moment he realized that he had to go to homeroom.

"Oh shit..." thought Greg, because he remembered that his homeroom teacher was very strict.

Greg made his way to his homeroom class, and braced himself for his teacher, Mrs. Minplesap's reaction. Greg opened the door, and hurriedly made his way to his seat, and looked up to see Mrs. Minplesap glaring at him.

"Gregory Heffley!" Mrs. Minplesap said snappingly, "What grade are you in?"

"E.. e.. eighth..." Greg stammered out meekly.

"And what should you have learned to do by now...?" Mrs. Minplesnap asked sweetly.

Greg stammered and was unable to think of what to say.

"CHECK THE DAMN TIME!" Mrs. Minplesap screeched.

"P.. p.. please..." Greg stammered out, holding up the note Nurse Glenda had given him earlier.

Mrs. Minplesap walked over saying, "Let me see that!" and snatched the note out of Greg's hand nearly tearing it.

"Hmmmph!" Mrs. Minplesap said when she had finished reading it.

"Passing notes are we Gregory..." said Cooper smirking. "I admit I'm surprised..." Cooper said chuckling, "I didn't think Minplesap was your type...". Then Cooper lowered his voice to a whisper and said, "I heard you swing for the same team after all..."

At this statement the whole class burst into laughter, and Mrs. Minplesap looked flabbergasted, her mouth opening and closing several times in shock. Finally she said, "Cooper, that is simply..."

She was interrupted when Cooper said, "Shut the fuck up bitch! I've had enough of your annoying ass voice for nine lifetimes..."

Mrs. Minplesap simply collapsed into her seat stunned, and like a broken record confronted with an unfamiliar situation she went about performing her duties as homeroom teacher.

A couple minutes later a student walked in, he was tall, Greg estimated about 6'4 or 6'5, and he looked to be of Middle Eastern descent. He had curly hair that was twisted into a corkscrew shape and dyed a milky-white, along with a clean fade, and a lightning bolt design on the right side of his head. He also had a nice cleanly shaven goatee that was dyed white. He had both ears pierced with shiny diamond earrings, a nose ring, and had a tattoo of a chess knight piece on his right cheekbone. He was wearing a bicycle chain choker chain, that was a Nomed custom piece, along with a golden playboy bunny chain. He had on a Free Kanye T-Shirt that was designed by Xachi Esokoturu, who was an 11 year-old fashion designer from Japan. The T-Shirt was black, with the words "Free Kanye" in a bright white blocky font on the chest area. Underneath the words was a white outline of Kanye's face and he had hair resembling Odell Beckha, Jr., but his eyes were empty and the area where his mouth and chin were supposed to be was dripping white ink. He was also wearing ripped white jeans designed by Xachi, along with plain white air force ones.

The reason Greg knew about who Xachi was, was because Xachi had worked with Sirvash in the past, and Greg who had no social life spent a lot of time stalking people who did have one. Through this stalking, Greg had uncovered much information about Sirvash, Nomed Gang and even the rest of the cool kids. This was why he thought he would fit right in with them, just because he knew so much about them, even though they didn't know who he was. What Greg failed to realize is that knowing that much about someone and them not even knowing you existed, made you a creep not their buddy.

"Was good my niggas..." the student said even though he was Middle Eastern not black, "Ya boy Toz back in this bitch!"

It was at that moment, Greg realized that this was the Toz that the cool kids had been so hyped to see back.

Greg also realized that Toz had on what looked to be a $75,000 Rolex watch on his left wrist and was holding a bottle of whiskey, and a bottle of actavis codeine cough syrup.

Toz opened up the bottle of whiskey, and set it down on Mrs. Minplesap's desk, then he opened up the bottle of Actavis, and poured all of it into the whiskey, causing it to turn a purple color. Toz grabbed the bottle of whiskey and then began chugging it as he walked over to his desk and sat down.

Mrs. Minplesap had just been watching the events unfold in shock, and stammered unable to think of what to say for this strange turn of events. Finally she asked, "Toz, where have you been for these past three months... I don't think you've showed up to a single day of school this year..."

"Anywhere bitch!" Toz said laughing, "Anywhere is better than this fuckhole of a place you think is a school..."

Mrs. Minplesap finally seemed to get over the shock that had been plaguing her the past several minutes and said, "What in the manner of the heavens is wrong with you Toz?"

Toz merely smirked, and Mrs. Minplesap began gaining steam saying, "Look at the ridiculous clothes you are wearing, your absolutely ridiculous hairstyle, and finally your absolutely horrendous and uncouth manner of speech... In my opinion, you don't belong in a school... you belong.. in .. in..."

Mrs. Minplesap began stammering and trailing off at that point, because Toz had stood up at that point and placed the bottle of whiskey down, calmly closing it before walking over to stand in front of Mrs. Minplesap's desk and smiling. Toz then bent over and placed his hands on Mrs. Minplesap's desk. Then Toz smirked and said, "We're all friends here.. aren't we Maureen..." (Maureen was Mrs. Minplesap's first name by the way) "There's no need to hide who we are..."

Then Toz used his strength to hurl the desk away and against the wall. It was plain to everyone now the fear that Mrs. Minplesap felt as everyone could see she had pissed her pants. "Yes..." Toz said, "It's quite clear to everyone what kind of person you are..."

Then Toz turned around to the class and placed his fingers over closing his nose, and waved his hand as if waving away an unpleasant smell. Everyone began laughing, and Mrs. Minplesap began sobbing.

Toz then said, "You probably feel alone right now, alienated..."

Mrs. Minplesap really nodded, not learning her lesson about the word games Toz liked to play.

"Don't worry..." Toz said soothingly, "I'm sure we can find a place where you belong..." Then Toz turned around and asked, "Can't we everyone?"

The class lightly smirked having picked up on Toz's word games.

Then Toz grabbed Mrs. Minplesap by the jaw and squeezed causing a cracking sound, which was the cracking of Mrs. Minplesap's jaw. Then Toz walked over holding Mrs. Minplesap by the jaw all the way to the trash can. "Yes.." Toz said, "I'm sure you'll fit right in with your fellow pieces of trash..."

Then Toz began shoving Mrs. Minplesap into the trash can as she began screeching. When he was finished, the class could hear Mrs. Minplesap's muted sobs, and she had been shoved upside down up till her thighs into the trash can. Toz then walked over to his desk, and began drinking his bottle of whiskey-codeine mix and walked out the door.


End file.
